What do you crave? Are you constantly craving?

Speak the first things that come to your mind.

I bet that your cravings will probably range anywhere from chocolate to physical touch.

A partial definition of the word cravings is:

to long for, want greatly, desire eagerly, to require, to need.

 I don’t believe there is anything wrong with cravings. I do believe that cravings are what happens to us when we disallow ourselves to name and claim our desires, though. We spend our lives trying to fill the void of unspoken desires with the things that we crave be it food, shopping, sex…. Instead of just deciding to live a life focused on fulfilling pleasure and desire.

What I have learned is often behind the onset of a strong craving is that the craving is a sign to me that I am yearning for something outside of myself. Often times something that the fulfillment of the craving will quench. When I find myself longing for something, I know it is time to take a look at what I am doing for myself in the way of self care to contribute to my pleasure bank.

I crave chocolate.

What does that bring up for you? Are you craving love? Nurturing?

I crave red wine.

Maybe, what you are really craving, is the feeling of relaxation. Time for rest and renewal. Luxury.

We have all heard the phrase “guilty pleasures”

Shopping. It’s my guilty pleasure. Chocolate. It’s my guilty pleasure. A long hot bath. It’s my guilty pleasure.

I think it is time to allow ourselves to feel pleasure without the guilt.

  • Guilt: having committed an offense, crime, violation, or wrong. especially against moral or penal law
  • Pleasure: Enjoyment or satisfaction derived from what is to ones liking gratification or delight.

So by acknowledging and indulging my cravings, succumbing to my “guilty pleasures”,  I have created an offense of enjoyment? Crime of gratification? Violation of delight?

Give me one of each of those, please!

Rather than taking pure pleasure in what delights us, we vilify it. And when we do so, it creates this internal war as we deny ourselves what it is that we so desire. Doing this leads to a cycle of self-loathing about how inept and undisciplined we are. Self worth and body image issues ensue and a deeper void is created. Which needs to be filled…and therefore we crave.

It would seem that we have forgotten that pleasure is, in fact,  a good thing. Let’s start to allow pleasure to happen in all areas of our lives.  Let’s go after pleasurable experiences, events and things. Let’s embrace them for the gift that they are. I would not hesitate to speculate that the cycle of cravings we vilify would start to disappear if we opened ourselves to embracing pleasure in our lives.

Feeling good is the primary intention.

The next time you are faced with a craving, stop and pause. Ask yourself what you truly desire. How are you FEELING? What are you FEELING? What are you trying to fill? What would you rather be doing? And if it all comes round to just wanting what you want….then want it….and have it.

Make feeling good and indulging in things that bring you pleasure your primary intention! Knowing why they make you feel good and how you feel when you indulge in them, will enhance the pleasure they bring you and alleviate the moral code you have assigned them.

Again, and make this your personal mantra as well,

Feeling good is the primary intention.