“You need to have surrender as one of your Core Desired Feelings.”

Words from the amazing, Lisa, whom I met while presenting at a Woman’s Retreat.

How does she know?

I totally need surrender as a Core Desired Feeling.

I am the queen of push. Do you ever feel that? I will try to make a square peg fit into a round hole every time. Just try to tell me that it isn’t possible. It may not always be a comfortable fit, but comfort be damned, even if the laws of physics say otherwise….let me at it.

I am learning, however, that SURRENDERING is not about giving up and waving the white flag. In fact it isn’t about giving up at all. At least it isn’t where I am standing in my life right now. Sometimes it’s just about softening to your surroundings. Giving in to surrender just a little bit.

Maybe I can surrender to letting some tasks go undone. Maybe I can surrender to not getting the last word. Maybe I can surrender….see how this works?

The first day I sit down to think about surrender, I find that I’m about as rigid as I can possibly be sitting in my big comfy chair. My first lesson in surrender is to surrender my body. I start to whisper the word….surrender… and to my amazement my body begins to relax.

Maybe not so difficult. I think I may be craving this.

I have a beautiful set of Mala beads I have from the collaboration of Danielle Laporte  (go here if you’d like your own) and Tiny Devotions, and I sat with those beads and used the word surrender as my mantra.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

It was as if I could not consider the word surrender. I took a deep breath and found that I could say it once. And then twice. Up to four times and then I found myself counting again. Because counting is straight forward and I know where I can stop.

If I decide to surrender….I don’t know where that stops!


  1. cease resistance to an enemy or opponent and submit to their authority.

I realize, I am the only enemy and opponent here. I am my own authority to surrender to.

I also realize that surrender is actually very courageous and is a very strong action to take. It isn’t the weak action that I am thinking it to be at all. It isn’t admitting defeat. In fact, for me it is just the opposite.

In my minds eye, I raise my imaginary white flag to myself and I say the words, “I surrender.”

And complete peace floods through me.

I surrender to let the projects I have been working on come to their own fruition.

I surrender the last word to someone else in a conversation that isn’t in either of our best interests to continue.

I surrender the things that are happening around me and allow them to happen without a reaction from me, unless it is needed. And in that, I discover that most often my reaction is NOT needed.

I’m not sure how long I can remain here in the realm of surrender without less than a constant reminder. I find it truly is a daily practice. I feel my arm itching to take that flag down with a conversation or a thought in 2 seconds flat. However,there comes with this practice of surrender a FEELING of ease and peace that is by far preferable to the alternative. I find myself wanting to be in that space more than not. Everyday, I am writing it, saying it, and reflecting on it as one of my Core Desired Feelings.

I am leaving you with the following quote by Eckhart Tolle.  It sums up for me perfectly what the word surrender is. Saying yes to life and watching it work for me.

Wave your courageous white flags with me! If you need assistance with raising that flag, contact Body Integral for support.

“Always say “yes” to the present moment. What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to what already is? what could be more insane than to oppose life itself, which is now and always now? Surrender to what is. Say “yes” to life — and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you.”
Eckhart Tolle